Life can be so ironic when you make plans that just don't seem to work out.
There is so much humor in life these days. We hired Scott to work with dad, while Janet visits her family in Dallas. Scott was supposed to come in the morning and evening to help dad during breakfast and dinner, do his physical therapy and keep him "smelling like a rose." I thought his ministering to my dad would give me the opportunity to work on the health heroes interviews and my In Search Of Heroes Program.

Wouldn't you just know it...Scott came down with a nasty summer flu and he does not want to infect all of us...especially dad!
You guessed it. I am the full time care person for this week. All my best intentions and dreams of getting caught up with work disintegrated. It is at these times "trusting in the Lord with all your heart" keeps the fear of financial failure at bay. With a "peace that goes beyond all understanding," based on God's promises to provide for our needs, my positive attitude is victorious with the help of lots of prayer (although on some days a little Vitamin T definitely hits the spot.)

A sincere 'thank you" goes a long way!
"Thank you for everything you do," dad said just after we prayed the "Our Father" after I tucked him into bed last night. The statement was filled with an incredible love that gleamed through the tears in his eyes. My eyes started to water. In times of pain and suffering it is so amazing how God's love and peace shines through the lives of the people around you.

In these last days, parents are so precious because you get to experience with them their transition from this earth into eternity.
Being around individuals who are very close to experiencing the joys of the after-life causes you to ponder your future. You realize they are truly the lucky ones. They have the opportunity to prepare themselves for their meeting with their creator. Their time is short as the life-clock ticks away the final moments of their lives here on earth.

What a great opportunity to make your heart and soul right with God before you pass on to the great judgment for righteousness.
Knowing your parents have a saving relationship with Jesus Christ fills you with peace, hope and joy. They helped so many others during their lifetimes, their rewards will be great. I personally know it was their consistent prayers that brought me back to a relationship with God after I followed the hollow "Flower Power" promises of happiness, self-fulfillment and mind expansion.

The Baby Boomer Generation's mantra of "Rebellion against all authority, free sex and mind altering drugs like LSD, peyote, marijuana, mushrooms, speed and cocaine" had long term consequences few could imagine.
At that time in our young lives, we could not divine how these activities would affect our futures. The flood of youthful hormones made us feel invincible (I can do anything!), impervious to pain (No fear!) and all-knowing (Parents, political leaders, the military and adults are self-serving, greedy jerks who want to oppress the poor). I still don't remember when my ability to know everything about every subject disappeared.

Most people have no idea when is their final moment on this earth actually.
It could come at any time. How many people do you think are ready for an instantaneous end of their days? Do you wonder what God will say to you when you stand before the judgment seat? Sometimes, I wonder if I am ready to give God an accounting of all the things I did during my lifetime with the resources that He entrusted to my care.

To Be Continued....
- posted by ralph @ 12:05 PM 0 comments

 
 

Just When We Thought Everything Was Going Great, The Electronic Monster Destroys The Peace and Wakes Everyone Up In The Middle Of The Night

Ah! Blessed rest was so wonderful for a few hours until the world turned upside down.
Mom came running into my room at 1 AM screaming, "Ralph, Ralph, there is something wrong in the dads room." Blasted awake from a dead sleep, I jumped out of bed and raced to his room. The sound of whirring, booming and pounding at extremely high decibles came from his room...sounding as if a mechanical monster was attacking my dad.

As we burst through the door, we could not believe our eyes as the hospital bed was pounding up and down, giving my dad the ride of his life.
It was almost like the poltegiest in the horror films were attacking our house. The bed was trying to chew my dad up and spit him out. How in the world was this happening?

I raced to the side the bed searching for the cause.
Immediately, I spied the culprit. Somehow his paralyzed leg had landed on top of the controls for the bed. All four buttons were being pushed by his calf all at the same time. The bed definitley did not like this chain of commands and howled in protest.

Quickly, I removed the offending leg from the controls and silence returned instantly.
If it was not so late and being half awake this event might have been humorous...but it wasn't. "What do I have to do to get some sleep around here," I wondered. After a diaper change I went back to bed, exhausted. After providing care all of Sunday, since Janet was in Dallas visiting her family, I was bone tired.

Why is it so hard to go back to sleep when you wake up suddenly in the middle of the night?
As I finally drifted off to sleep a comforting thought emerged, "Scott was on duty at 8 AM and I could get some work done. Little did I know that all my efforts would again be required the next day.

As I woke up, little rested from the night before, because of the rude interruption in my deep sleep, I dragged myself out to the kitchen to brew some much needed "joe."
Ah! The first cup of coffed of the day was always encouraging. "Ring, ring, ring...my cell phone leapt into life."
"Hello Ralph?"
"Yes, this is Ralph."
"This is Scott. I guess I never should have told your mom I rarely get sick. I have come down with a nasty summer cold. I don't want to infect your dad."
"Oh, that's just great," I thought.
"Yes, we cannot take the risk of infecting dad. Perhaps tommorow you will be okay."

As I hung up the phone a deep depression came over me.
How in the would was I ever going to get any work done to make a living. I would have to clean up my dad, feed him breakfast, with the help of mom, and then take both of them to the doctor. My day was done, dead, kaput, still born, gone, over...all the time spent taking care of my parents. Perhaps you have already been there or experiencing this awakening now?

Life can be so difficult sometimes when you are seeking after your own plans rather than God's.
After a few moments of prayer, accepting the chain of events as His will for me for the day, I was done feeling sorry for myself. "How would I like to be paralyzed on one side or suffer from congestive heart failure?" I don't think so. It was high time to thank God for all my blessings and get down to the business of serving my parents. Afer all, who was I kidding...as if they did not change my diapers a million times and feed me every 4 hours because I was 3 months premature. I am sure I was a real pain in the hinder regions.

Trusting in God with all your heart, leaning not on your own understanding and acknowledging Him is all your ways is not that easy.
Grumbling, moaning, dragging my feet and asking, "Why me God?" I am sure is not the type of activity He blesses. Sometimes, it is hard to lay your life down for others. My selfish wants are so pervasive at times, frustration run high.

Occassionally it is time for vitamin T, to help with the pain of the death of my own desires for wealth, material possessions and freedom.
"What," you say, "you have never heard of Vitamin T?" Well, I guess everyone has their special vitamins that begin with different consonants (B for Bourbon or beer, W for wine or whiskey, V for vodka, R for rum, etc). A few shots of Vitamin T (tequlia) can brighten the day or night.

God said a little wine is good in times of sorrow and I fully agree.
Since I dislike wine, a little juice from the mescal plant can really mellow out the day. Of course I don't get drunk, just relaxed enough to lay on the floor and channel surf for a while...dreaming of the time when I was a kid and actually had the opportunity to go surfing everyday.

If you are in the same situation a little ingesting of adult beverages is in order.
I am sure tomorrow will be a better day! At least with prayer, gratitude and a little Vitamin K, I can face anything that comes my way. (-:

To Be Continued...




- posted by ralph @ 6:55 PM 0 comments

 
 

Sometimes Miracles Appear Just When You Need Them!

The wisest decision we ever made was to hire an expert to work with dad!
All the tasks required for the care and upkeep of a person with a stroke can be wearing, frustrating and tedious. In the process of selling my dad's car, a young man named Scott believed my reports about the car. He bought the car immediately, even though it was not exactly what he was looking for. As it turns out, he was another of God's little miracles.

One of the top therapists for spine and stroke injured patients appeared at our door.
Scott is a master massager. He just got a job at the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club. That is why he needed a reliable car that would carry his massage table from Ocean Beach to La Jolla. When he told me about working with one of the greatest quadraplegic athletes, Jim Mac Laren, I was amazed. Our family hired him on the spot to help out with dad twice a day.

Scott is an amazing person, who knows just the right places to work on my dad's injured muscles.
His massages of the paralyzed left side are phenomenal. Scott knows just where to work to alleviate dad's pain from pulled muscles. He also washes him tenderly, preps dad for breakfast and does an entire mobility sequence to keep his body supple.

This is a huge aid in the morning because it allows me to start work at 6 AM and continue throughout the morning uninterrupted.
I have spent as much time as I can taking care of mom and dad. Now it is time to get back into the saddle and put in an 8 hour day working on transcribing the health heroes' interviews and creating websites for them.

I hope to have great information about alternative health each day, regarding strokes, congestive heart failure and Alzheimer's.
That is my goal but of course it is very optimistic. There are so many things that appear out of the blue that require my assistance. Tomorrow I have to take mom and dad to the doctors for another check up. This will be challenging getting both of them into the car, out of the car at the doctors and back in again.

Sometimes, humor can really help.
The simple redundant activities really challenge your peace of mind. I know it would be impossible to keep my sanity and positive attitude without prayer. It blows my mind how strong some people are on their own.

For me it is a great comfort to know that everything is in God's capable hands.
The events of the last three months are an important aspect of my training here to be a greater servant of all on this earth. I can hardly wait until my service here is finished so I can experience firsthand God's great benefits package in heaven.

So many people are seeking wealth, material possessions, pleasure, and power exclulsive of their spiritual development.
What will be their fate when they pass from this earth? I love the scripture that says, "Where your treasure is, there also will be your heart." The world would be a better place if more people wanted to serve others than themselves.

Today, Sunday was a very special day with my mom and dad.
I was the total support force today. Scott had the day off. I did all the cleaning, exercising, feeding and moving into the wheel chair and back into bed. I am thankful for the weight belt, because it really saves your back.

One of my longtime friends, Bob Sturch, a fabulous barber, was kind enough to come over to cut dad's hair.
We all sat out in the back yard in the warm, gentle sun, listening to healing classical music. There is really something special about getting your hair cut and face shaved under a clear blue sky in sunny San Diego.

Dad looks and acts so much better, you know his self-confidence still has a lot to do with how he appears.
I guess everyone wants to look good until we pass on into eternity. It is amazing how much clean clothes, a stylish hair cut and a close shave can uplift one's spirits.

It is amazing how many people in the baby boomer generation have already had to take care of one of their relatives or are in the process.
I am so impressed by everyone who bit the bullet and stepped up to the plate. There are so many HEROES amoung us who quietly (H)elp (E)nthusiastically, (R)esponsibly, (O)ptimistically, (E)xceptionally (S)ocially and/or (S)piritually. Hopefully on my site In Search Of Hereos, these people will be honored for their wonderful service to thier families and society.

To Be Continued...


- posted by ralph @ 5:55 PM 0 comments

 
 

Thank God Angels In The Form Of People Appear When You Need Them The Most!

Who would have ever thought home health care would have been so difficult!
Sometimes you wonder if there will ever be a chance to rest. Changing diapers, range of motion exercises, sponge baths, getting my dad into his wheel chair and many other activities really zap your energy. Even though you love the person dearly, you grieve for your previous life...whatever it was seems almost carefree when you don't have the responsibility of total care for another person.

I guess this is what it is like to have a baby that requires total care.
We did take care of foster babies. I had plenty of opportunities to change diapers and feed the different babies. The big difference with an adult that is paralyzed on one side it that they are very hard to move around. When they stand up, you have to provide a huge amount of support. Janet and I bought weight lifting belts to protect our lower backs, but it is still a huge strain.

Cars can be a huge waste of money for insurance and repairs especially if they just sit in the garage.
With the paralysis on his left side and mental slowness, there is no way dad is fit to drive a car. Mom has not been able to drive for a number of years. So to save money on auto insurance we decided to sell dad's 1993 Camry.

So many people called to buy the car, my phone rang incessantly.
This model has an unbelievably strong engine. One person that works for a Toyota dealer was looking for this particular model since she had two recent trade-ins with over 300,000 miles on each with few if any mechanical problems. I told each person that saw the car, the first person who shows up with a fair price would get a car in almost perfect condition.

Most people have been screwed buying cars enough times they have a hard time recognizing a honest person and a great deal.
The car was in great condition with all the records. All the scheduled maintenance had been done on time. The price we were selling the car for was fair, but most of the people assumed I was a liar and that there was something majorly wrong with the car.

Angels on earth in the form of other humans occassionally pop into your life without any warning in the strangest circumstances.
To Be Continued...




- posted by ralph @ 5:32 PM 0 comments

 
 

Life Has Ups and Downs and All Arounds And You Realize That Sometimes "It Is Darkest Before The Dawn!"

Sometimes you feel it is always darkest before the dawn.
Last Saturday dad was released from the hospital. What great joy to have him home again! But, what a massive amount of work was required to get the house ready. We had to remove all the furniture, pull up the carpet in the hall and his room, remove all the staples in the floor and clean. We had to completely restructure the garage, dig up beds of flowers to create a path for the wheel chair. Now we are considering building ramps for the wheel chair.

I am grateful for the great values at the Goodwill, Salvation Army and Cancer Thrift Stores.
Buying towels, bed sheets, blankets, diapers, salves, cleaning materials, etc. takes a lot of time and the cost is surprising. Thank God there are tons of towels, fitted mattress covers, sheets and blankets at the thrift stores. They are in great shape, clean and priced reasonably.

Sleep for a few days was a luxury.
Listening for the slightest cry for help made sleeping difficult. When you wake up every few hours, it is amazing how tired you are in the morning. Not getting a full nights sleep really starts playing tricks with your mind. Wierd thoughts come out of no where. You begin to wonder if you are on the verge of insanity.

Thankfully, schedules and natural biological clocks have a tendency to appear in the midst of chaos.
Over this last week, a natural flow of events finally emerged. Once dad realized we could not keep up the same schedule of care as in the hospital, we all were able to develop more regular sleeping cycles. I think that in the hospital eating, physical therapy, sponge baths, etc. are done according to hospital timing. Now that dad is home, he is catching up on his sleep and reestablishing a more natural sleep and life cycle.

I used to hate paying the Medicare deduction but now I understand the value of Medicare's financial assistance in taking care of senior citizens.
When the tax burden increases and you see all the deductions you begin to wonder where all the money is going. Medicare appears to be the best investment. Until your family is in need, you have no idea how valuable Mecicare's financial assistance is. We are thankful dad also had Tricare that appears to be the best secondary insurance that pays for everything not covered by Medicare.

It would definitely be better if the Medicare money was used for therapies that made senior citizens healthier rather than for catastrophic illness.
But, it is important to realize most people really don't want to do much to stay healthy. Most will abuse their bodies until they collapse. Then the harsh reality of disease rears its ugly head...the consequences of too little exercise, too much stress, too many late nights and a poor diet.

Just about everyone does not value health until they loose it.
How many people spend their lives seeking after wealth, power and material possessions? What a nasty surprise when they lose their health. Most people who become severely ill for their remaining days realize "hindsight is 20-20." In many cases all their wealth and material possessions are forfeited because of the high cost of crisis medical care.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
How true this is, especially when you work in the alternative health field. We have seen this trajedy so many times in other families. Now that ours is affected, you realize there is not much you can really do to motivate people to improve their health. Most will spend more money on cars, houses, jewelry and vacations than on their health.

The good news is that both mom and dad are doing better.
Once your parents are on the chemical cocktails that are keeping them alive your choices are limited. Your only hope is to help them enjoy their remaining days is to work with the doctors to adjust the medications. The goal is to arrive at the most optimal chemical combinations that give them a decent quality of life and they stay alive.

With congestive heart failure, going off the medications is a death sentence.
It would be great if you could change your loved one's life styles...their food, supplements, exercise program, etc. and they would follow through. But, that is not reality...only a joke created by unjustified optimism. Everyone is so programmed to a certain way of eating, sleeping, exercising or not, and entertainment, any change is threatening and therefore undesirable.

You have to do the best you can in difficult situations.
Rome was not built in one day...nor are changes made instantaneously. It seems parents will only really change their lifestyles if it is a matter of life and death. Once you get to be over 80 perhaps, changing anything is a waste to time.

If you can enjoy life as much as possible till your dying day, is that so bad?
That is a good question. I used to be such an optimist about people's ability to change for the better. Now reality has slapped me upside the head. People can only change themselves and will do so only for good reason...with pain or pleasure as the primary motivators.

To Be Continued

- posted by ralph @ 11:08 AM 0 comments

 
 

If Life Were Any More Challenging I Don't Know What I Would Do!

This last week has been one for the record books.
No time has been available to even write a few lines of prose. When you are a full time care giver for your parents, even sleep is a luxury. Now I know the horrible truth about an undesirable future every baby boomer has already faced, is dealing with now or dreading.

Occassionally, wierd ideas pop into your mind and you wonder how in the world it is possible such strange thoughts could ever become a part of your reality.
It is horrible to say, but at times you face a wide range of temptations that hit you like black evil anvils dropping out of the clear blue sky. The temptation to be angry at God, parents, siblings, spouses and the world in general, circles around occasionally, just like a bad penny that keeps turning up. When extreme sleep deprivation and almost unbearable stress climax at radical levels, these wild thoughts and other bizzare imaginations filter through your weakened mental and spiritual defenses.

Of course you would never give into these terrible thoughts, but it is a very strange experience to watch this wierd process in your minds eye.
Often, I wonder it other baby boomers have similar thoughts. I believe it is a strategy of our spiritual enemies to try to make us guilty. The thing to remember is that the temptation is not a sin.

Prayer during these times is a powerful defense.
When these wild and wierd and unthinkable thoughts enter your mind, my only defense is to cry out in the name of "Jesus" for the help that is always available, if we go to Him in prayer. Sometimes it is almost like a legion of demons and devils are hammering at your mind 24 hours a day with their sharp pitchforks of evil...poking, proding and puncturing your sense of peace.

If only, if only, if only my parents would have taken the advice of the Health Heroes in the Alternative Medicine Hall Of Fame at HealthyDoctors.com.
I feel so inadequate lately, while dealing with all the health issues in my family. Changing diapers, moving limbs that are dead weights, cleaning up spilled food, running errands, etc. really sap your energy. I am desperate to publish the valuable health information from the Alternative Medicine Pioneers.

By the end of the day, I can hardly transcribe even one line of the interview of the greatest doctors in the alternative medicine world.
My prayer is that events here will lighten up a little so I can work on the doctor interviews. Over 20 are still on tape, desperately waiting their turn to see the light of the internet.

Please forgive me for my snails pace.
I am working as fast as a "one armed paper hanger." (-:

To Be Continued....