June 19, 2004: Why do events often spiral out of control when our heart is breaking.

Click Here to read Ralph and Janet's updated story about how he is dealing with his dad's recent stroke on May 23, 2004.

Read the other chapters of our Baby Boomer  Saga concerning our aging parents by Clicking Here.

My heart aches when I cannot be with my dad as he fights for survival.

Sometimes, promises we make conflict with reality. I promised Carl Galletti that I would run the speaker powerpoints and take photos at his Internet Marketing Super Conference in Las Vegas. I had to prepare June 15 and June 16 to do my job.

Mom's birthday was on Wednesday, the day I had to fly to Las Vegas and my heart was breaking.

f only I could have celebrated this special day. We almost lost her 60 days ago, when she came down with pneumonia and congestive heart failure.

I love her so much that emotional conflict was at a maximum this entire day.

There is a huge problem with making a living. During this difficult time I want to spend as much time with my beloved parents as I can.

It could be their last days.

Because of the the importance of making a living, I may not be their to hold their hands and provide solace for their final moments, but I pray this is not the end of their days.

My day had to go into the more sophisticated hospital again to have the feeding tube adjusted.

The amount of pain and suffering is beyond belief....the twilight zone of emotional pain. I am having such a hard time seeing dad plumbed with lines wandering off to different machines.

My agony at having to leave for the conference at this critical time tested my honor.

I had given my word to Carl and I needed to follow through. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

I saw dad for a few moments before I had to leave.

Luckily, he was able to sign mom's birthday card. I left it on her bed just before the cab took me to the airport.

"If only, if only, if only?" keeps flashing through my mind.

I pray my dad will survive until I return from the conference. I work from 7 AM to midnight each day. Taking photos and running the computers is a time consuming and stressing job. With my dad suffering, it is everything I can do to focus.

Why is it that when people learn about my family crisis they tell me about the death and disabilities of their parents?

Their tales of woe make me cry for their suffering and mine. We are bonded by emotional pain and fear about what will happen in the near future. My heart is with my mom and dad, but my body trapped in Las Vegas.

It really creates a ton of emotional conflict when I know I won't be able to see dad and mom in the flesh until next week.

I have to fly back to Dallas after the conference. Exhausted totally will be my reality on Monday. 4-5 hours of sleep each night this week is not enough.

Time to put all of our possessions in storage and lives on hold.

I am not looking forward to packing all our possessions in the heat of a Dallas summer. The long, wild ride over 1500 miles, in the 100 degree summer heat without air-conditioning will be an experience.

I just pray dad will survive until then.

I wish the doctors were already using the critical healing and life saving devices I will be bringing with me back to San Diego. Why can not the conventional doctors and pharmaceutical companies be more open-minded and compassionate. The financial bottom line is not the most important thing in life.

Life is so frustrating when you can not help your loved ones when they are suffering.

When I get home, my first step will be to share with you all the things to keep you and your family members from going down this terrible trail. I will share all of Janet's and my secrets about health, that we have learned from the pioneers of Alternative Medicine in the Hall Of Fame.

To Be Continued...